Bumps
by SoThere
Summary: Baby bumps and speed bumps… Katniss and Peeta discover things don't always go according to plan on the road to creating a family. Modern day AU.
1. Chapter 1

Katniss and Peeta had only been married a few months when they decided they were ready to buy their first home.

They scrounged together a small down payment from a few years of savings and some of the gifts they received at their wedding. After walking through dozens of houses, they finally found the_ one_. It was a true fixer-upper, beat up and desperately in need of a makeover, but they fell in love with it instantly. At night, Katniss loved to watch Peeta sketch ideas as they dreamed up ways they could bring it back to life. They were so excited to make it all their own, together.

The renovation proved larger than they originally anticipated. Old carpets stained from years of cigarette smoke and pet stains were torn out; every bit of wall and molding needed to be washed and coated with fresh paint; dangerous light fixtures were removed and new ones hung. Peeta tore out the kitchen layer by layer until they were at the studs, each new level revealing yet another problem underneath. The cabinets were hung improperly. The plumbing was not to code. The electrical service was insufficient. They lived for weeks using only the bathroom sink and a microwave to cook their food, but they didn't mind. They were newlyweds, and madly in love.

Sometime in the second month of the renovation, Katniss started to feel ill. At first, she brushed off the constant fatigue and weariness as side effects of the renovation. She worked full time, then came back home to paint and scrub walls and pull up staples from the floorboard until the wee hours of the night. Of course she was exhausted.

But after a few weeks of feeling off, she started to develop other symptoms. She nearly fainted one morning, racing to an early meeting. She chalked it up to missing breakfast, but was noticeably shaken by the spell. The next day, she couldn't shake the nausea that developed after she smelled a coworker's lunch warming in the microwave. She thought it would pass after the odor had faded, but for some reason, her stomach continued to roll angrily for the rest of the day.

It took a visit with Prim to finally put the idea in her head. They had gotten together to shop for paint samples when Katniss had to stop and rush to the bathroom at the back of the home improvement store. Prim leaned against the sink watching her closely as she came out of the stall, wiping her lip.

"Are you pregnant?"

Katniss froze with her hands under the cold water, meeting her sister's eye in the mirror above the sink.

"What? No. I-"

She quickly wracked her brain to remember when her last period was. Maybe she was a few days late… But with the stress and strain of the renovation looming over her, it was only natural her body would be a bit out of whack. As she tried to assure herself Prim was crazy, she suddenly realized they had closed on the house nearly six weeks ago, and she never did unpack any pads or tampons.

"I can't be…" she said unconvincingly.

She scowled as she remembered the words of Effie, the irritatingly cheerful real estate agent that had helped them purchase their house. "Oh, the two of you are so precious! Newlyweds, and now first time home owners. Well, you know what they say… new house, new baby! I just know the odds will be in your favor!"

Katniss had sent a panicked glance to Peeta. As she caught his eye, he gave her a comforting smile. He understood her fears about having children, and had assured her before they got married that they would go down that road when – and only IF – she felt ready. He put an arm around her shoulder and she curved into his side. "Thanks, Effie, but we're not going to be starting a family anytime soon. We're just going to enjoy being married and spending every possible minute we can together."

That was the plan, anyway.

Ditching the paint samples, she and Prim made an emergency trip to the closest pharmacy and picked up two different pregnancy tests, just in case. As soon as they got back to the house, she locked herself in the bathroom, staring down at the boxes with more disgust than she had given the termite damage they had found the previous week.

The first test produced two blue lines before her eyes far faster than the two minutes promised on the box. Still in denial, she ripped open the second one, a fancier more expensive stick. This time, there was no second guessing the clear "PREGNANT" looking back up at her.

"_Shit_."

"Katniss?" Prim began knocking on the bathroom door and jiggled the locked handle. "How's it going in there? Everything okay?"

Katniss opened the door with her left hand, her right still clutching the plastic stick. She couldn't tear her eyes off of it. She looked up after a moment to see Prim waiting expectantly for her response. Katniss tried to answer her, but for some reason her mouth wouldn't work. It didn't seem to matter; glancing back down at the stick for what had to be the tenth time was all the answer Prim needed.

"I knew it. I knew it! You're pregnant, aren't you?" Katniss had barely nodded her head when she felt herself attacked by her younger sister, wrapped in a bear hug and jostled as the blonde jumped up and down. "Eeee! I'm going to be an auntie! I can't wait! I'm so excited! Aren't you excited?!"

Excited wasn't quite the word Katniss was looking for. Shocked. Surprised. Overwhelmed. _Terrified._ Those were more appropriate words to describe this moment. Her head was swimming as she tried to process this life-changing piece of news. Pregnant?

She walked through the rest of the day in a fog, her brain still trying to process the shock. Prim stayed for lunch, leaving only after making Katniss promise she would call her the second she told Peeta.

For once, she was grateful that he was working his usual Saturday shift at the bakery. She needed a few hours to herself to process this information before telling him. No doubt he'd be overjoyed, ready to call the entire family and all of his friends to profess the news.

At least, that's what she _thought_ would happen. Peeta's reaction was her second major surprise of the day.

"You're … _what_?" His shook his head, wide eyes trained somewhere over her shoulder. "No, that can't be."

"Peeta?"

He turned away from her, leaning on the saw horse set up in the middle of the gutted kitchen. She watched his knuckles turn white as he mumbled to himself. "We were so careful. This can't be real… it can't be."

Katniss scowled at the hunched over, muttering stranger in front of her. Where was this coming from? Why was he shutting her out? "Peeta!" He whirled to face her, eyebrows raised in a frightened expression. "What's the matter with you?" His mouth opened and closed wordlessly as he looked frantically from her eyes to her belly.

The cold realization started to hit her. He didn't want this after all. This was a mistake; a regret. "Are you …" she started in a small voice, fighting back tears. "Do you not want this baby?"

His eyes snapped up to meet hers. "No!" he breathed, and rushed forward to gather her into his arms. "No, god, no. Katniss, of _course_ I want this baby."

"Then what's going on?" she mumbled into his flannel shirt. "I thought you'd be happy."

Pulling back, he cupped her face in his calloused hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. "I _am_ happy. I'm just – shocked. And…" His eyes softened as he studied her, searching for the right words. Finally he let out a groan, and waved his arms frantically around the room. "It's just - look at this place! We can't have a baby in here!"

Slightly relieved, Katniss looked around the room with a fresh set of eyes. She saw the bare walls, free of insulation and sheetrock, with cracks allowing bugs and drafts in from outside; exposed electrical wiring and stubs of plumbing leading nowhere; torn up floor boards riddled with staples and splinters. Peeta was right. This was no place for a baby.

Her face must have belied her panic, because Peeta suddenly composed himself. He grabbed her hand and walked her over to sit on the plastic tub that held their pots and pans. "Whoa, hey – It's okay. I'm sorry, I overreacted. I don't want you to worry. I'll take care of this -"

"No, you were right, Peeta! This is terrible!" She jumped up off the tub and began pacing around the boxes and crates. "How are we going to finish all of this work in time for… What the _hell_ were we thinking taking on a project like this?! What are we gonna do?"

"Katniss, stop." A tug on her arm stopped her in her tracks. She whirled around to see Peeta had lost all traces of his earlier panic. Instead, she saw hints of sadness in the lines of his face. "This isn't really about the house, is it?"

"What are you talking about?"

He avoided her scowl, looking down to their joined hands as he swung them gently back and forth between them. "Katniss, we've been friends for a decade now. I know everything about you, and I know your feelings on having children. You don't have to pretend for me." His voice dropped to a near whisper. "_You_ didn't want this."

Katniss couldn't deny his accusation. She _hadn't_ wanted this; at least, not right now. But as she spent the afternoon thinking about it, she'd started to grow accustomed to the idea. She'd actually begun to wonder if maybe it was supposed to happen this way. If they had waited until she was mentally ready for a baby, they probably never would have started a family.

She squeezed his hands and drew him a little closer to her. "I know what you're saying, Peeta. Yeah, I'm scared. But it's done, and… I think I'm happy." He looked up at her, eyes bright, and wrapped her in a fierce hug.

Pulling back, he searched her face. She could see he was struggling to hold back a smile. "Are you sure about this, Katniss? You're really okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "We're just having a baby. There are worse things that could happen." She shook her head. "In fact, there's really only one thing I regret in this whole situation…"

Peeta looked concerned now. "What's that?"

She leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Well, it's killing me to say this, but – now we have to admit that annoying Effie was right.

* * *

_A/N: This first chapter was submitted for PIP __Language of Flowers _day 4, prompt Hyacinth / Fertility. This story will have a few more chapters before it's complete, and I feel it's only fair to warn you that things get a little angsty after this... much like real life. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Katniss quickly realized that pregnancy was not always the blissful, ethereal time TV and the movies portrayed.

The fatigue was crushing, sending her to bed early every night and weighing her limbs down like lead in the morning. Not wanting to tax her further, Peeta took on the bulk of the home renovation himself, working well into the night, far later than he should have while still keeping baker's hours. Normally, she couldn't sleep well without him by her side, but these nights she was pulled into a sleep so deep and swift it felt like she'd been drugged.

Reading the pregnancy books her mother had sent, the term "morning sickness" became something of a joke. Katniss found herself sick morning, noon and night, and what was supposed to end by the third month lingered well into the sixth. She looked like hell, too. Her eyes were bloodshot from all the vomiting, her dark hair lay limp and greasy, and she was starting to believe the pregnancy "glow" everyone raved about was just a euphemism for "sweat."

Rather than a time of happiness, she found herself feeling like a soldier at war with her own body.

Her mental health was suffering as well. Every doctor's appointment was a source of anxiety. Pregnancy represented a huge loss of control over her future; she ate right and followed her doctor's orders, but at any point, something could go wrong and she would be powerless to stop it. Each time the doctor moved a monitor around her belly looking for the heartbeat, she swore her own heart stopped.

To complicate things further, a routine ultrasound detected irregularities with the placenta that would need to be watched. The doctors assured her it was very common and typically nothing to worry about, but their words did nothing to ease her mind.

Mostly, she worried that she was already a terrible mother. She was committed to this pregnancy, and would do everything in her power to keep the baby safe and protected for as long as possible. But she couldn't describe her feelings as love. While Peeta talked to her belly constantly - singing off key and telling stories about his day in an endearing cooing voice - she couldn't bring herself to have a conversation with the bump. It was all so abstract to her normally practical self. How could you love something you couldn't see? Feel connected to a person you hadn't even met?

Oddly, even feeling the baby moving didn't quell her worries. She knew that most women felt comfort and joy at their first flutters and swishes, but she felt only terror and ambivalence. Who was this alien creature moving around inside of her? Would she ever grow to love it?

She lay in bed one night, late in her eighth month, staring at the bump. Peeta was reading beside her, his right hand lying across her belly in a protective gesture that had become all too familiar recently. The baby was especially active this evening, and she watched as the entire swell of her abdomen moved and shifted with its efforts.

"Shouldn't I feel something?" she whispered.

Peeta looked up from his book. "What do you mean?" he laughed. "You couldn't feel that?"

"Not _that_." Katniss struggled to lift herself up to a sitting position. "Shouldn't I feel… a connection to this baby? Some kind of mystical bond? This whole thing is so bizarre. It's like a stranger has taken up residence in my body."

Peeta scooted up next to her and put an arm around her shoulder. "Well, she _is_ a stranger. At least for now."

"See - that's what I'm talking about!" She turned to face him, shrugging his arm off in the process. "You said '_she'_. I can't do that!" Ever since the ultrasound confirmed his suspicions, Peeta had been telling anyone who would listen that they were having a daughter. Katniss was more cautious about the information. She certainly wasn't going to rush out and buy dresses just yet.

"How do you really _know_ it's a 'she'? We don't know anything about this baby, and you walk around acting like you love it already!"

Peeta reached out to put a hand on her belly again. "Well, that's because I do love her."

Katniss scoffed and flopped back onto the bed. "Of course you do. _You_ don't have the emotional IQ of a slug."

He laughed and lay down beside her, holding his head up with one hand and rubbing her belly with the other. "You do _not_ have the emotional IQ of a slug. Maybe an earthworm…" She shoved his hand off and tried to turn away, but he gripped her shoulders and pulled her back. Hovering over her, he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I'm kidding," he insisted, his smirk fading. "You're perfect. And I don't care what you say – you love this baby just as much as I do." Katniss shook her head, but he put a finger to her lips to stop her before she could protest. "You _do_. I see how careful you are about reading up on the latest studies, and how nervous you get at every appointment. You'd do anything for this baby."

"That's not love," she mumbled from behind his finger. "That's protection. It's my job to make sure this baby survives until it's born, and I take my job very seriously."

Peeta smiled. "Call it what you want. I still say it's love. It's no different than how you 'protected' Prim all those years." He quirked an eyebrow, challenging her to argue, but Katniss just shrugged. Bringing up her sister was a low blow, but she knew deep down he was right. After their father passed away, she was became a second mother to Prim when their own mother checked out emotionally.

Still, this felt different somehow.

He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her lips. "And anyway, the books all say it's totally normal to feel this way. Just give it time."

Time. That was the one thing she was clinging to. But she knew it was running out.

* * *

The following week she had a repeat ultrasound at the hospital. Her doctors wanted to keep a close eye on the baby to make sure the issues with the placenta weren't worsening as her due date grew near.

"Katniss Everdeen?"

Katniss looked up from her book to the nurse holding her file. "It's Mellark," she corrected. She'd planned to keep her last name after they married, but halfway through the pregnancy, she decided she wanted to have the same last name as the rest of their little family. Peeta had offered to take her last name, or to hyphenate the two, but she opted for the more traditional route. Besides, his last name was on the generations-old bakery that he would someday inherit.

"We're ready for you in room 3."

Hesitating, she looked to the door, hoping to see Peeta walking in. He had to open the bakery that morning, but had promised to meet her as soon as his brother arrived. "My husband isn't here yet..."

"It's fine, dear. The receptionist will send him back as soon as he gets here."

Lying there without his hand to hold, the minutes seemed to crawl. She stared at the ceiling, distracting herself by looking for patterns in the swirls of the tiles. The tech was being extra thorough this time, not making the usual small talk about the weather or plans for the weekend. While Katniss would normally find comfort in such a reprieve, the silence was deafening. Where was Peeta?

Eventually the tech excused herself and left the room without much explanation. She returned a few minutes later with a tall, balding man that Katniss assumed was a doctor. They discussed something quietly for a few minutes as the tech pointed things out on the screen. The doctor took over the machine himself for a moment before finally turning to address Katniss directly.

"Ms. Everdeen –"

"Mellark," she interrupted nervously, watching the tech step out of the room again. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"Ms. Mellark. I'm Dr. Latier, one of the resident physicians. Unfortunately, it seems the issues with your placenta have not resolved as we'd hoped. The baby is no longer getting the nutrients needed and is not growing as we'd like to see. Continuing this pregnancy has become too risky for the both of you, so we're going to have to deliver today."

Katniss went numb. She heard bits of his explanation– words and medical phrases she was sure she had read about before, but the gravity of the situation overwhelmed her. Deliver _today_?

"But – it's too early! I'm not due for another month. What if -" She wasn't even sure what she was trying to ask. "Isn't it dangerous to for the baby to be born now?"

"I assure you, it's more dangerous to wait. The baby is small, but the lungs are developed and functioning properly. If there are any concerns after the birth, we have an excellent neonatal ICU upstairs. Your baby will be well cared for."

The tech reappeared with a red-headed orderly pushing a wheelchair behind her. "I'm here to bring a patient up to OB?"

The arrival of the man only served to increase Katniss's anxiety. "No – wait! My husband isn't here yet. I can't do this without him!"

"Katniss?" As if on cue, she heard Peeta's voice from down the hallway. He entered the room, confused by the three medics looking at him. "What's going on?"

The sight of his disheveled curls and flour dusted t-shirt made everything real all of a sudden, and Katniss burst into tears.

Peeta rushed to her side and took her hand as the doctor quickly explained the situation again. Stunned, he listened quietly, absorbing the news while stroking her knuckles with his thumb.

"We'd like to take her upstairs to begin prep for the delivery," Dr. Latier concluded. "To move things along, you can stay here to being filling out the paperwork with Ms. –"

"No," Peeta's voice was firm as interrupted the doctor. "I'll fill out whatever you need upstairs. I need to stay with her." Dr. Latier studied them both, nodding before giving the orderly his instructions.

The couple was quiet on the elevator ride, and Katniss felt lost without Peeta's comforting voice filling the silence. She watched him staring at the numbers while the elevator ascended slowly, a blank look on his face. His hand was still curled around her fingers and she gave it a little squeeze, drawing him from his thoughts.

He gave her a weak smile, and squeezed her hand back. "Guess it's good I finished the baby's room last week." She could see he was trying to be brave for her sake, but the wrinkle in his brow told her he was just as worried as she was. The elevator opened, and he stepped closer so they could walk through the doors together. "Prim will be disappointed about the baby shower, though."

Katniss had forgotten all about the shower, which was scheduled just a few days away. Their mother had moved to a warmer climate in an attempt to improve her mental health after Prim started college. As the remaining local branch of their family tree, Prim had taken on the party planning in her place. Katniss tried to indulge her sister as much as possible, but she still spent the past few weeks vetoing ideas for games like "Baby Food Taste Test" and "Guess Mommy's Girth."

"I can't say I'm totally disappointed about that one," she admitted, eliciting a chuckle from Peeta. "We should probably call her soon… Let her know what's going on."

He nodded. "Of course. I'll call her as soon as you get settled."

The orderly turned down a few corridors and into a homey hospital room. Peeta stepped out to contact Prim as Katniss was transferred to a hospital bed and slowly attached to several monitors and wires. A hospital bracelet was cinched snugly around her wrist and an IV was placed into the back of her hand. She was starting to feel overwhelmed by the activity around her as she repeated her name and birthdate half a dozen times.

A squat nurse with a short gray bob fiddled with a monitor around Katniss's belly, trying to capture a reading. She velcroed it tight around her middle and watched a long strip of paper print out to the right of the bed. Frowning, she adjusted the monitor and studied the paper again carefully.

"What's that?" Katniss asked, concerned by the older woman's actions.

The nurse turned and gave her a small smile. "Just watching the baby's heartbeat." She made a few notes on the paper before looking back to Katniss and patting her hand. "Don't worry about a thing. You're in excellent hands." She watched for a few more minutes, then excused herself to the nurses' station.

Peeta returned a few minutes later, looking around the empty room. "Everyone's gone?"

"For now." Katniss shifted as much as she could in the bed without disturbing all of the monitors. She reached her hand out to Peeta, who had stalled out a few feet from her bed, watching the screens. "C'mere."

Peeta pulled a chair as closely as he could to her bed and cupped her hand in both of his. "Are you scared?"

"Kinda." Katniss laughed ruefully. "Guess we don't have time for those birthing classes now."

Peeta shook his head and smiled at her. "Nope. That's what we get for procrastinating. Guess we're gonna have to wing it." He reached out and smoothed her hair back from her face. "You can do this," he insisted. "I know it's not how we'd planned, but we have to focus on the positives. We're going to meet our daughter soon."

She leaned her head into his hand, closing her eyes. "Mmm-hmm." She wished she felt as positive as he did. If only she'd had a few more weeks to get her head around this. Maybe by then she'd feel ready, somehow.

The nurse returned a few minutes later to check the monitor again, making a disappointed clucking sound. "Can you get over onto your side, dear? It will improve blood flow to the baby." She helped Katniss shift onto her left side and adjusted the straps. "I'm sure it's fine, but I'm going to give Dr. Latier a call to get his opinion. Just try to relax for now."

Relax? Katniss was anything but relaxed, tethered by wires and tubes and getting more concerning news every minute. She stared at the clock on the wall, trying to think of anything but the clicking of the machines surrounding her. It was hard to believe it was nearly lunchtime. If she was at work right now -

"Haymitch!" At the thought of work, her boss and mentor of the past four years popped into her head. She was expected at the office after her appointment, but with the sudden drama, she'd completely forgotten to let anyone on her team know what was going on. She knew Haymitch would be concerned if she didn't show up; while he gave a first impression of a crotchety middle-aged man, he had a heart of gold and had become a father figure to Katniss over the years.

"He's probably wondering where I am. I don't want to worry him…"

"I'll send him a text," Peeta offered. He had forged his own friendship with Haymitch over the years, since bonding over a soccer game at the first company picnic. "He'll understand."

Just as Peeta finished typing out the text on his phone, Dr. Latier entered the room with the nurse. He stood by the bedside and cleared his throat.

"Mrs. Mellark – I've reviewed the results of your tests, and unfortunately we need to move things along more quickly than originally planned. We've seen several drops in the fetal heart rate, and with the earlier results, I'm concerned the baby is in distress. We'd like to perform a cesarean section as soon as possible."

"What – what does that mean?" Peeta asked. "Is the baby okay?"

"For the moment," the doctor said, his face serious. "But time is of the essence. I've spoken with your OB and she agreed that we should move forward as soon as possible."

Things moved quickly. Transport was arranged. The risks and side effects were reviewed. Consent forms were signed. Peeta was able to accompany them to the surgical unit, but because of the urgency, Katniss would have general anesthesia and he would not be allowed into the operating room. They would both miss the birth of their daughter.

Peeta held onto her hand right up to the operating room doors where the nurses let them know it was time to say goodbye for now. He leaned over to whisper something to her belly before giving Katniss a tender kiss. "I'll see you soon," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "It'll be okay, I promise."

Katniss gripped his hand between both of hers, reluctant to let him go. "Stay with me," she pleaded, even though she knew he couldn't.

He brought their hands up to his mouth for a teary kiss. "Always," he reassured her, his voice breaking. "I love you. I love both of you."

She swallowed, staring into his wet eyes, trying to compose herself. "I love you, too."

The surgical staff moved swiftly, transferring her to the operating table, strapping down her limbs and connecting her to the monitors. The anesthesiologist spoke in hushed tones, offering words of comfort and instructing her to relax and count backwards from one hundred. She found herself fighting as the medicine did its work, every instinct resisting the darkness that threatened to take hold.

Finally, she let her lids close and focused on the calming blue of Peeta's eyes as they had parted. As she fell asleep, she wondered if their daughter's eyes would have the same warm hue.


End file.
